Misremembered

Written 54-G15 [2023-01-19], Edited 54-G22 [2023-01-26]

Image credit: Twitter Twemoji

I will get to work on time. Yes, I will.

I will not sleep through my alarm.

I will not be seduced by the siren’s song of the showerhead, nor the warmth of the bathwater. Yes, I will shower. No, I will not shower for more than 5 minutes, I will jump out when my alarm, my personal banshee, tells me to.

I will not have a complete breakfast. I will eat some dry cereal, which is considered merely part of a complete breakfast in every advertisement. No, I will not daydream about whether that is a legal requirement constraining the manufacturer.

I will not forget my keys and wallet. I will detect them with ease, using an AirTag if the process takes more than 30 seconds. It won’t take more than 30 seconds, though. It will be trivial.

I will not overspeed on residential roads. The local limit is 30 kilometers per hour and I will stick to it, even if it momentarily seems like it will lead to my being late.

I will not repeat what happened in Moncton.

I will not-

I will not-

I will not think about Moncton at all. Moncton is my past, my future will be right here.

I will rise beyond the past, I will show them all, all those people who didn’t care about me, all of them who doubted me, I will prove them wrong. Yes, one day they will open their social media feeds and see that it was I who became powerful, and they who remained mundane and boring and weak.

No wait. On second thoughts.

I will not be so vulnerable to delusions of grandeur.

I will park in the easternmost parking lot, and walk to the entrance furthest from the Tim Horton’s so that I don’t have to talk to Joshua about Moncton. I will place my keycard on the scanner and -

No wait. It’s Sunday.

Notes

This was written in 15 minutes during a Joy of Writing meetup.