Frequent

Written 58-A02 [2026-07-22], Edited 58-A02 [2026-07-22]

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“It is an entirely natural but not entirely frequent event,” the lead researcher explained to me.

“We’ve run the calculations, we’ve got the theory fully explained in our paper. It’s an unintuitive but coherent phenomenon, occurring for roughly three days every three million years, in that cave.”

One of the junior members of the team pointed at the dark and dusty cave, which had a boulder next to its mouth.

“You gotta be kidding me, this is some Indiana Jones crap, this is out of the SCP Foundation,” I said.

“The last occurrence was 2000 years ago, when a burst of gamma rays from Betelgeuse caused the boulder to move,” the researcher began.

“Are you fucking kidding me,” I said.

“And a series of electrical pulses hit the corpse-” the researcher continued.

I pulled a can of beer out of my bag and cracked it open.

“There goes my seat at the board of the skeptics society” I said.