Alternative

Written 58-A27 [2026-08-16], Edited 58-A27 [2026-08-16]

Image credit: Twitter Twemoji

“I can’t believe this article,” I told Clara. We were sitting in the mall food court, staring at our phones instead of each other. “It’s a Daily Mail article about a small American town, which is already sus, and it refers to the mayor of the town as a ‘white female Mamdani’.”

Clara stopped sipping her tea and asked, “So, is the article right about her? Is she a white female Mamdani?”

I rolled my eyes. “She just approved a dedicated bus lane, that’s all she did. And besides, even if that’s considered left-wing, the writer could just call her a socialist or progressive or whatever, there are so many alternate phrases for a pro-bus lane politician.”

Clara took another sip of tea. “But that would be confusing. White female Mamdani is the accepted phrase.”

“Very funny, should I start calling you a white female Mamdani then,” I asked.

“Everybody does that,” she said. “Including my own motherly Spanish Mamdani.”

I laughed, but it didn’t sound like she was joking.

I took a bite of my fried chicken as we fell into silence again. While doing so I caught a brief glimpse of my receipt.

COLONEL MAMDANI’S SECRET RECIPE CHICKEN, said the receipt.

My mouth fell open and I dropped my chicken. “What the fuck?” I said.

I looked across the table from me, and found an East Asian female Mamdani, East Asian elderly Mamdani, and a itty-bitty baby Mamdani. The Mamdani-aged couple were peacefully eating greasy fast food.

Notes

This was written in 15 minutes during a Joy of Writing meetup.