Fatty & Kingdom

Written 55-A14 [2023-08-03], Edited 55-A14 [2023-08-03]

Image credit: Twitter Twemoji

Part 1: Fatty

“Thomas, that burger is really fatty,” said Professor Magdalene. “Even for you.”

“Even for me?” I said, to the tiny Sapiens woman across the table, dwelling in my shadow.

“Yes Thomas, even for Homo neanderthalis, that burger has a disproportionately high level of fat,” she said. “There’s enough bacon in that one for a whole pigsty.”

I placed my finger on the menu next to the burger I wanted. The menu was as glossy as a smooth river rock that was just pulled out of the water. My finger moved right of the image and onto the real challenge, the word.

“Heart,” I said.

“Yep, that’s the first word,” said the professor.

“There is a dash,” I said.

“Very good, it’s only for the benefit of speakers, it indicates the words are combined.”

Combining words, one of the many subtleties of speech and language that was a slippery as the aforementioned river rock.

Part 2: Kingdom

The next word was more abstract. “Attack,” I said.

“Yes,” said the Professor.

“The burger is named heart attack?” I asked. “Does it have a sharp object inside that will stab me? Will it send an army to a far away tribe or kingdom?”

“No, it’s one of those things which is both a joke, and the truth. If you ate that kind of burger every day, it would fill your blood vessels with layers of cholesterol and eventually, your heart wouldn’t be able to beat any more. You would die of heart attack,”

“So where is the joke?” I asked.

The Professor looked contemplative as her eyes slid from my face to an item on the nearby wall. Her finger crawled across her lip like an insect.

“It’s some kind of irony, but honestly, I’m not sure I understand it myself.”

There was a moment of silence between the Professor and her student, broken by the various noises of conversation, and music from who knows where.

“You seem quite interested,” the Professor said.

“In what?” I asked.

“In language and writing and reading. Your brothers and sisters are much less curious,” she said.

Notes

Each part was written in 10 minutes during a Joy of Writing session.

Feedback from the Joy of Writing Group

• hoping for a continuing story
• reminiscent of Dangerous Dan’s
  • which is now closed