Recently, I met some friends I hadn’t seen in years, to watch a movie series I hadn’t looked at in decades.

Speculation walking in

• Some discussion of the artificial nature of the cars. Are they … built?
• Is Jackson Storm an electric vehicle? IS HE A TESLA?

The pre-movie

• A Canadian Tire ad with a Cars tie-in. Prepare your “Meh” emojis.
• I have never seen so many rodents near so many explosions in one trailer before.
• The Emoji Movie trailer is an entire movie in itself
• Trailers for various Disney and Pixar stuff, all very cool.
• The short, Lou, was cute

The actual movie

• Lightning McQueen, the original self-driving car. Known to self as “Speed”.
• Every statistical analyst should have “Certain” as a last name.
• Geddit, his name is “Storm” and he’s perfect, the perf-…
• Jackson Storm is also a smug, self-assured jerk.
• Crash’d
• Sally is great at sarcasm. Was she always like this? It’s been like 10 years since I’ve seen Cars…
• Stinker, I mean Stickers.
• Mater exists.
• There is a statue of a car.
• Rust-Eze Training facility… it’s like a McQueen temple… BUT MCQUEEN IS NOT THE GOD!1!!!!11!
• “Cars don’t have phones.”
• McQueen is an old car who doesn’t understand technology.
• Ramirez is like … a yoga instructor who never goes outside?
• Bugs exist in the Cars universe. We never get to see them close up. Are they tiny vehicles, or like animals?
• Using a legend to sell branded merchandise… that reminds me of a Pixar movie)!
• “Life’s a beach.”
• We never get to see what a crab looks like in the Cars universe. But they’re mentioned. More than once.
• CRAZY 8
• What do school buses do in the Cars universe… teach?
• Big Data says Storm is going to win, fo sho. Our small-town, down-to-earth protagonists won’t quit that easy!
• But they will shout.
• “Is Smoky alive?”
• A Bar & Grill … what do cars … grill?
• McQueen is an old car … but not the oldest car. He has a deep respect for the wisdom of the elders.
• Ramirez can be scary if she wants.
• “You’re old. Get over it.”
• No real driving (heh) theme behind these training sequences, but they’re fun. Predictable though.
• What are the real victories in life? Also, what are rules?
• “Your blinker’s on”
• New paint jobs!
• Hey wait a second, that Dinoco logo looks like a stylized real dinosaur not a dinosaur vehicle do fossils of dinosaurs exist in the Cars uni-…

Parting thoughts

• It’s good. It’s not Pixar’s best.
• Felt a bit unconnected. These cars are driving about, without a GPS. Hey that makes me wonder, are satellites in orbit sentient in the Cars universe what about rockets what about Mars rovers did the cars make it to the moon and what ab-… /metaphor
• It is weird for twenty-something year-old’s to be in a theatre with this many children.
• It is weird for twenty-something year-old’s to see a movie about retiring with dignity.