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“Hey what do you think of the green tea latte at Tim’s?” Fred asked, while leaning against the door of our Uber ride. His smile was as radiant as the noonday sun.

“I never had it,” I responded, half-hearted. “I haven’t been keeping up with the latest in Tim’s menu items.”

“How about we go grab one right now!?” Fred suggested. Looking briefly at the rear view mirror, I could see the Uber driver roll his eyes.

“Oh please no,” I said, “we already planned to see Luke and we got in this Uber specifically because we were running late.”

“Oh, right.” Said Fred. Then, after a single second of silence, Fred said, “Hey, how about I help you with your taxes?”

I looked at Fred’s grin, his genuine grin, his sense of joy at the idea of helping someone else with their taxes, and couldn’t help but feel charmed. But I also really didn’t want to, was this really the time?

“No, that won’t be necessary,” I said.

Fred’s shocked face was illuminated only by a streetlight as he responded. “Does that mean you’re evading your taxes?” He asked.

“No,” I said.

“Oh you already did them,” he said.

“No,” I said.

“Well let’s get started, the simpletax web app is compatible with iOS safari you know!” He said.

“I didn’t know, and I still don’t know if I should believe you, but either way, no I’m not doing my taxes on my phone in an Uber on our way to see Luke. And besides why would I want to let you see my taxes?” I said.

“But … I could help you apply to all the best tax credits…” he said. He looked a bit glum and stared at the dark floor of the car.

I sighed.

“How about you make a list of the largest practical tax credits and I’ll apply for them in 3 months?”

Notes

This was written in 15 minutes during a Joy of Writing meetup.