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There was no flame, in fact hardly any heat on the countertop at all. The cooker heated the pot and its contents with what I could only assume was witchcraft. While water boiled and pasta softened, my phone rang.

I grabbed it from its wireless charger, which was totally unnecessary given that I was wearing wireless headphones, but a force of habit formed by what I could only assume was demonic possession. The screen claimed the caller was named Gerald.

“Hey man I got the interview,” Gerald’s voice at the other end of the line said.

“That’s fantastic,” I said.

“Yeah it’s really great, did I mention what they do?” Gerald asked.

‘Please don’t' I thought, but I stayed silent and he started talking anyway.

“Basically they make transformers which use electromagnetic fields to…” and he went on and on and on. I rolled my eyes with what I could only assume was a sarcastic expression. There was nobody else in the room to see my face and my reflection on the rim of the pan’s lid was difficult to interpret.

A couple minutes after Gerald finished talking I was eating my pasta while watching a YouTube video titled “IF MAGNETO WAS SMART: NOT CLICKBAIT” and I was expecting to hear a sweaty guy complain about a plot twist in one of the X-Men movies. Not the ones with the Patrick Stewart’s Professor X but the ones with James McAvoy’s Professor X. But the video was clickbait after all, it was an hour long lecture about magnets making electricity, or was it electricity making magnets? Ugh, whatever, I switched over to watch Mr Beast’s channel instead.

Notes

This was written in 15 minutes during a Joy of Writing meetup.