Image credit: Twitter Twemoji

It took an entire hour to get to the office today. And that was just the drive to the parking lot. I couldn’t even find an empty parking spot for the first five minutes because somebody (and it was definitely Simon) parked their car in three spaces.

I ran into Toronto’s fifth-slowest elevator and tapped my feet as it leisurely made its way to the tenth floor. Then I sprinted into the fully populated conference room and sat down. “Sorry I’m late,” I said.

“Oh, Johnny, we were just getting started,” said my boss, Simon, who couldn’t park worth a damn.

The team sat in that meeting for about three hours. The topic was on process changes in the company to streamline operations, or something like that. It was mainly Simon telling us information that could have been sent as a memo, but he really wanted us to see his face for some reason. Then everyone finally made their way to their desks.

“Hey wanna grab a coffee?” Asked Jerome. So Jerome and I skipped our desks and headed to the coffee machine. Of course Jerome himself never actually drank coffee, so he got a cup of water from the cooler and followed me to the coffee just because. We talked about some crap, I don’t remember what. Then we returned to our desks, or at least I did.

I opened my email and saw about 50 unread messages. Well, I guess I should read each one individually, including the ones that are clearly automated systems telling me that everything is fine, I thought. After I got to email 48 out of 50, Jerome patted me on the shoulder and said, “Hey, it time for lunch. Got to eat well to work well.”

The things I do for productivity, I thought.

Notes

This was written in 15 minutes during a Joy of Writing session.