So I joined my uncles, aunts and cousins when they went to see Wonder Woman.

Speculation walking in

• Will this be any good? DC’s recent track record made me pessimistic. Some of my friends said this was good… but they were also OK with Suicide Squad.

The pre-movie

• Trailers for Atomic Blonde and a Blade Runner remake were intriguing.
• Is it Avatar 2: the Return? No, it is Luc Besson’s newest creation, Valerian and The City of a Thousand Planets. I was uninterested until I noticed Luc Besson’s name on a poster.
• Justice League is already being advertised. At long last, I got to see the new, buff Aquaman in motion.

The actual movie

• One of my cousins thought the flashback would end quickly and there would be a story in the present. Nope
• It’s beautifullllllllll.
• Diana was born to fight.
• Will Diana jump off that cliff? Yes, but …
• The eeriness of an all-female island wears off quickly. Once it was pointed out that there was only one child on the whole island things got a bit more disturbing IMO. Some of these Amazons are clearly older than others but … none are children.
• I guess sometime in this movie, we’ll find out if the Greek Gods are canon in the DC Cinematic Universe. Question is, are the DC Greek Gods canon in the original mythology?
• “War will never be fair!” … or something along those lines.
• Will Diana jump off that cliff? Yes, but …
• It’s not beautifullllllllll.
• Is our male lead of this movie going to be a German pilot, in the service of Kaiser Wilhelm II’s attempt to escape the encirclement of hostile foreign powers? That’d be a pretty interesting turn … Nope
• Amazons vs. WWI Germans: very suspenseful. I’m glad neither side was totally curb-stomped.
• There a lot of things that must be very carefully spelled out in old-timey English.
• Hey look, it’s Ludendorff, an actual historical figure. Nice touch.
• Also nice to see that the Ottoman Empire’s existence and role in WWI is acknowledged… I guess?
• Diana is not an Amazon? OK.
• “You let that little thing tell you what to do?” Since that era, we’ve leveled up to letting server farms tell us what to do.
• Will Diana jump off that cliff? Yes, but it’s a long jump.
• I was very closely watching the boat in the background during the heartfelt goodbye scene, waiting … wondering …
• There was no way we’d get through a movie featuring an all-woman civilization without a funny but awkward convo about marriage, relationships and … sleeping together. So it’s a good thing we got that out of the way early.
• London is horrible.
• “Ohhh a baby!” I find it easy to forget that Diana comes from a society without children.
• A whole movie starring the secretary would be enjoyable. OK, maybe a series of short films.
• Lots of fun, but innocent scenes here. Exactly the sort of thing Suicide Squad didn’t have.
• The patriarchal and command-chain-obsessed British military is something of an annoyance for Diana.
• Hey Ludendorff might be vile, but should he really be a cartoon villain? He’s an actual historical figure after all.
• The attitude that soldiers were born to die offends Amazons as much as modern society.
• Very fitting, having a rope to compel people to tell the truth while travelling with a spy.
• What a saavy old man.
• War is hell.
• Token Native American is here. Also a sad Scot. And Sameer.
• “May we get what we want.” “And may we get what we need.” “But may we never get what we deserve.”
• Diana is naive, and incapable of seeing the big picture, but is powerful enough to survive nonetheless.
• Diana is a one-woman demolition crew. And can throw tanks.
• Photo time!
• Token Native American believes in Greek Gods. Well… given the events of the past few days, why not, right?
• Some of these Ludendorff scenes are entertaining (and grisly), but I could not bring myself to ignore the fact that there was an actual German military leader named Ludendorff.
• Sameer is funny, even when he’s pretending to be a servant to a cruel colonial master.
• Hard to seduce someone when you keep glancing at your side chick.
• Dancing with the figurative and/or literal God of War?
• The chase begins.
• “What’s that?” “The future.”
• There’s a pretty exciting fight. A fight to the death.
• This is a poignant ending for this arc. Unusual for a superhero movie. Maybe Diana will mow down a whole army at this point?
• WHAT?
• Oh well, still a good ending.

Parting thoughts

• Pretty solid movie. Misses some chances to be unconventional.
• I really liked the humor, simple though it was.
• Also enjoyed the various settings in this movie. Much more interesting than the drab prisons and urban sprawl of Suicide Squad.
• Always appreciate the “War is Hell” message.
• Look, Ludendorff was awful in real life, but this is just silly. This is like seeing a Robot Hitler or a Mutant Stalin who randomly kills subordinates.
• I think chopping off one of the final scenes would make for a better movie. I prefer gods which act in mysterious ways, as opposed to leading a blatant (non)existence. However these scenes are not bad.
• One of my cousins pointed out: that mustache does not fit that helmet. You’ll know the ones.