Cabinet

Written 57-H24 [2026-02-25], Edited 57-H24 [2026-02-25]

Image credit: Twitter Twemoji

“A cabinet fell on you?” the doctor asked.

“It was a bookcase, actually,” I replied. My hands, which would normally be making new gestures every two seconds, were each wrapped in a cast, motionless.

“And the books fell too?” the doctor asked.

My left eyebrow rose above its accompanying eye patch. “Yeah,” I said. “But it was the miniature CN tower made of stainless steel that really got me in the eye.”

“Not going to lie,” the doctor said, “it’s looking pretty bad, I mean you’re lucky you survived at all. I think your legs can recover at least. but your hands, and your left eye… they’re done.”

“I’ll pay any expense,” I said. “I want my hands back. at least one of them.”

“It’ll cost you,” the doctor said. He was tempted to say it would cost an arm and a leg but that seemed in poor taste.

“Doc, can i be frank?” I said.

The doctor sighed. He had a lot of other patients to deal with, not to mention piles of paperwork. But when he adjusted his glasses and remembered that he had two working eyes, he realized it was his duty to listen.

“Tell me whatever you want, I’ll keep it a secret,” he said.

“Gooning’s all I got,” I said.

The doctor sighed again.

“I know a guy in the mountains,” the doctor said.

Notes

This was written in 12 minutes during a Joy of Writing meetup.