Thickening & Promise

Written 55-J13 [2024-04-11], Edited 55-J13 [2024-04-11]

Image credit: Twitter Twemoji

Thickening

The Sun let out a plume of superheated gas, much to Mercury’s alarm.

“What’s the matter, sir? Have I upset you?” asked Mercury.

“Oh it’s that upstart sister of yours, Earth,” said the Sun. “Her moon intends to eclipse me soon, and it’s quite embarrassing.”

“Well, she can’t help it sir, by the laws of mechanics and all that,” said Mercury. “And why would you be embarrassed? The last time there was an eclipse on Jupiter-”

“Oh that didn’t matter,” said the Sun. “It’s different when it’s on Earth.”

“Because of the humans?” Said mercury. “You don’t want them to see you eclipsed?”

“Humans, penguins, bacteria, what does it matter?” Said the Sun. “But there is one human, one particular human who absolutely must not see my corona!”

Hours later, that specific human was sitting in a GO train heading from Toronto to Niagara. A passenger who boarded at Oakville looked at the fellow quizzically.

“So uh, why are you wearing a wizard hat?” Asked the Oakville man.

“Because, I am the wizard of Dundas Square,” said the wizard of Dundas Square.

“And the robes?” Asked the Oakvillian.

“It could get cold when the Sun loses their composure.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked the muggle.

The wizard of Dundas Square giggled. “Just a little joke between him and I.”

Meanwhile in the interplanetary medium, negotiations were ongoing between the celestial bodies.

“Ugh,” Earth said. “The eclipse WILL happen, and that’s final!”

“Gaia, please,” said the Sun.

“Don’t you even start with that-” Earth snapped. “But if you want to maintain your modesty, imagine this. At the exact spot the wiz boy is standing, staring through his funky little glasses, the clouds thicken.”

“And he won’t see my corona,” the Sun said hopefully.

“Yeah yeah yeah, you’ll keep your dignity you old prude of a stellar body.”

Promise

“So let me get this straight,” said the man from Oakville. “You are going to see the eclipse, because you believe the Sun will feel ashamed of being eclipsed?”

“It’s the corona, the Sun never lets any wizard see their corona. It reminds them of an embarassing memory from 500 million years ago,” said the Wizard of Dundas Square. “Back in the day, the Wizard of the Pangean Coast saw the Sun’s corona, and laughed for twenty days,” said the mage.

“Now that’s just ridiculous,” said the entirely sane human from Oakville, who was totally sober, he even promised his mother of that. “There were no humans back then.”

“Of course,” said the Wizard of Dundas Square. “The Wizard of the Pangean Coast was a horseshoe crab.”

Notes

The second part was written in 15 minutes in a Joy of Writing session.